April 1, 2020. For Immediate Release

CHICAGO, Illinois

CloudQuant LLC analysts, after examining multiple alternative data sets, believe that Waffle House will be announcing a cryptocurrency offering in conjunction with Starbucks ($SBUX). The offering is expected to be called WaffleBux.

Proceeds from the Initial Coin Offering (ICO) will be used to build new Waffle House establishments in the exit lane of Starbucks drive-throughs.

“Waffle House has struggled to find new restaurant locations as they have already placed multiple restaurants on 97.256% of South-Eastern US interstate exit ramps.

The ICO will provide funds to rapidly expand to new high traffic exit lanes,” said April Prime, head of data analysis of the Phools Innovation Research Center.

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Happy April Fools Day